bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
