my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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