What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
