Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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