Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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