WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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