You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
