Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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