Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
