she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
BRING THE BAGELS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
