If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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