so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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