Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
