Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
