i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
