Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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