you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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