I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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