we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
