I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
