i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize