We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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