This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
