you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
