we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
