he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
