I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She is in my trunk
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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