Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We need to rekindle our bromance
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
