did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
only you would photoshop your dick
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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