i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my phone needs a breathalizer
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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