he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
