I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize