I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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