TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
what the fuck happened to the tacos
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
