it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
