Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
