who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
