Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
