She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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