I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
