No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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