Its about making memories worth repressing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
