I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He did a backflip because drugs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
