she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
