Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
