Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
