I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
