Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My vagina is officially offended.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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