brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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