I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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