Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
