I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
