My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
