Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
