I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
