look no pants
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
