i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
