2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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