thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
