she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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