2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
